Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Jeg må ha hensyn..

I woke up today with an extraordinary excitement..Well, of course its not just because i was still breathing when i opened my eyes but its because i will be having a "visning" today! My cousing had been texting me since yesterday about our movie date but of course! i told her that before we go to the movie house, she should join me with the visning,,and luckily she said yes..

3pm today, i was on my home from work. My tired eyes were showing because i came from an afternoon shift and then day shift the next day..so my sleep was not that enough..but still, i tried to fight my sleepyheadedness and eventually i lost..hehe..fell asleep on the sofa infront of the TV until it was 5pm..I woke up, washed my face and garggled and shouted (silently hehehehe) "Tay, alis na tayo!"..and we were on r way to the visning.. Driving r way to Stovner, he told something..he said in a very calm manner.."Nung dumating ka dito sa Norway, akala namin ng Mama mo makakaluwag kami..yon pala bibili ka din ng bahay mong sarili"..Of course, without using my mind, i reacted defensively! This was always been an issue..I was thinking to myself..im helping the bestway i can..and i cannot exhaust everything i earn just to help them?!! I have my life to live as well (so ungrateful ikke sant?!) was i really ungrateful?! YES, they have spent much for studies, having been in college twice is not that easy..costs much of course! And I am aware of that.. Well if i can help them with just one earning a month,,y not? But i have to give a share to myself as well..I work my ass so hard for 20-22 days a month and i think i deserve some part of my earning for myself..I dont mean to sound so bad..They have been good parents and providers to me..and I thank God for giving them to me but for now, this is all i could do to help them... I really want a place of my own, not just to have privacy but more than that, i believe its time for me to independent from them.. When i was younger, i used to watch american movies and everytime i see a teenager from a certain movie who's not living with his/her parents anymore, i always told myself, that if i reach that age and if i have the capacity, I would want to be independent also..

I may be having a place of my own, but i always keep in mind that i will still help them with the best i can..And if today i am working hard to provide for myself, im pretty sure that I need to work a little more harder just to pay the bills.. And as for my parents, yes maybe the payment im giving them right now is not yet enough to pay the monetary value they spent for me, but my love and "utang ng loob" to them will always be there..Im sure someday..all will be well.. =)

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